Many children struggle with various
difficulties and challenges and as a result
feel very, very sad and unfortunate.
Loyal readers who have followed the Ahrele
series know my life story. You know that I,
too, had to cope with extremely difficult
challenges from a very young age. I, too,
felt very unfortunate. I had a lot of anger
bottled up inside me; I couldn’t understand
what I had done to deserve so many
difficulties. I was paralyzed — and that came
along with a lot of physical and emotional
pain and suffering; I had to be far away from
my home and family for years — and that
made me feel terribly lonely; I was so jealous
of other children because they had relatives
who visited and brought them treats and
games, while my only visitor was my mother,
who only came once a week for a short visit.
I stuttered for years, which made it hard for
me socially. Other people were not always
very understanding, and I often felt that
everyone looked down on me.
Who better than me can understand what
you’re going through? It is from this place
of understanding that I want to share with
you, dear boys and girls, what helped me
stop feeling pathetic and sorry for
myself and begin building my
personality — slowly and with
lots of siyatta d’Shemaya.
Already at a young age I
understood that I would not be
able to change reality. Hashem
gives each person a certain
set of circumstances to work
with, based on the qualities
of his neshamah and his unique
mission in this world. We have no
control over that. None of us can
decide who his father or mother will be, who his siblings will
be, or what blood type he will have. Hashem decides that.
But how to deal with the reality we are given is completely
in our hands. The Torah commands us to “choose life,” and
the Gemara teaches us: “Ein ha-davar talui ela bi — Only I
can help myself.” Once I understood this and accepted my
situation, I stopped complaining about how unfair my life
was and focused instead on just one thought: What can I do
in my present circumstances to help myself? That was the
beginning of my growth.
As long as a person is complaining, grumbling, jealous of
others, and thinking about everything he doesn’t have —
he cannot grow. Such thoughts weaken him and prevent
him from making any progress. When a person accepts the
reality of his life, on the other hand, and focuses on what
he can do within his reality to help himself, he is in a
position to really grow. Everything actually depends on a
person’s perspective, because our perspective creates
our thoughts and decisions, and those, in turn, create the
reality of our lives.
The stories in this book will,b’ezras Hashem,
illustrate this lesson.
english
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